Perspective Taking & 'State Vs. Calibration' For Attracting Women

There is this huge misunderstanding among men who study attraction techniques or "PUA" tactics for attracting women, and it boils down to this question:

"What's more important for attracting women-being in the right STATE OF MIND, or being able to CALIBRATE properly?"

State of mind refers to being in that state where you are confident, optimistic, sexual, dominant, flirty, playful, relaxed-all that good stuff!

Calibration refers to being able to use all the various techniques of attraction and connection properly-in the right amounts, at the right time.  So for example, calibration would include playfully teasing a woman when you first approach her, but not right in middle of you and her making love!

I give this obvious example to make my point clear, however calibration refers to far more nuanced and subtle things as well. It means knowing when a woman is actually testing you, and when she is just truly being playful and funny.  It means knowing exactly when to stop playfully teasing and progress the interaction forward. It means knowing when you've screwed up and apologizing. It means knowing when to kiss, and when to pull back to create more sexual tension. It means all this and so much, much, MUCH more.

But the answer to what is more important all depends on the INDIVIDUAL.



Some men are NATURALLY great at calibrating; they have amazing social skills with ALL human beings, but when it comes to approaching women out of the blue, or even women in general who they want to attract, there is fear, anxiety, insecurity that FREEZES them up.

And because of THAT, they can't access their mental processors for CALIBRATING.  Their brains are too busy being FROZEN because they have gone into FIGHT/FLIGHT/FREEZE as a result of the AMYGDALA in the brain being triggered by stress.  The amygdala SHUTS down all the thinking and turns on the biology to prepare you for DANGER.  As if a tiger is about to jump at you.  And your brain doesn't think then-it just causes your body to react physically and your mind emotionally-and not in a productive way.

So for a guy like that, it's ALL about STATE OF MIND.  If he can get into the right state of mind again, then he can naturally access his CALIBRATION SKILLS if he already has them.

For HIM, it is also true that calibration skills are SUPER IMPORTANT, but since he already has them, he doesn't have to worry-HE has to work on his STATE OF MIND.

But for other men, they may be totally OBLIVIOUS to fear or anxiety or giving a damn about what anyone thinks at all, to a point that this is actually a FAULT. They may be in a GREAT state of mind, but they lack the ability to truly engage in maximum PERSPECTIVE TAKING, and CALIBRATION requires MASTERING the skill of PERSPECTIVE TAKING!

Perspective taking means you can truly feel and sense what it is like to be ANOTHER person. So if you want to calibrate properly, you must be able to SENSE what it feels like for HER to be on the RECEIVING end of whatever you are saying and doing with her. This is a SKILL.

In fact, calibration is IMPOSSIBLE without highly developed PERSPECTIVE TAKING skills.

And what is so funny is that 99% of the guys who talk about being ALPHA completely UNDERESTIMATE the absolutely MASSIVE ROLE of perspective taking.

They think that being ALPHA means NOT caring what SHE is thinking and feeling, when in reality this stuff is EVERYTHING! They mistake the idea of "not seeking approval" with truly not CARING or FEELING what she is feeling or thinking. 

How can you know if you are teasing too much and it's time to go into deeper rapport, if you can't actually FEEL and UNDERSTAND the interaction from HER perspective? After all, you aren't calibrating for yourself, you are calibrating to get HER!

It's also ironic how this stuff is SO important, and yet you can see how LITTLE most of the so called "experts" really know about perspective taking, and even worse, how little they actually INTUITIVELY AND EMOTIONALLY feel perspective taking, because they FILM WOMEN WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION and put them up on the internet!!!!  Even the greatest ignoramus in the world could see that this is something that women would feel BAD about, but there is so horrifyingly LITTLE perspective taking ability or feeling in these guys that they go right ahead and do it anyway.

There is so much out there about being ALPHA that actually is NOT true. The TRUE alpha GETS the woman, and since perspective taking and the ability to truly FEEL what she is feeling, and the ability to feel and understand her perspective is INTEGRAL to your success in getting the woman, PERSPECTIVE TAKING is therefore an absolutely FUNDAMENTAL part of being a successful ALPHA-MALE.

And it's also important to understand how perspective taking and calibration go hand-in-hand. For example, if you are in a CONFIDENT state of mind, then you will not negatively DISTORT the things a woman says and does. This means you will be better at perspective taking accurately, and allow you to CALIBRATE your response perfectly. 

In my video, I give the example of a mind-blowing woman who was at my place, and she mentioned how my TV is from the 1960s. If I was in a bad state of mind, a weak state of mind, an insecure state of mind, I would have felt threatened, insulted, or challenged, and I would have thought I had to "strike back" to get her down to size and off her pedestal. That would have RUINED the entire vibe and DESTROYED the attraction.

But the fact is, being in a great state of mind helped me understand she was being PLAYFUL. Not only could I tell from her tonality, but also because she HERSELF was calibrating her humor very INTELLIGENTLY.

The reason I say this is because one of the great ways to CALIBRATE a playful tease is to make sure that the thing you are saying cannot be interpreted seriously by anyone with common sense. So the fact is, there is NO REALISTIC WAY that she ACTUALLY thought the TV was from the 60s and that it was 57 years old! 

That is PROOF she didn't REALLY mean it.  (Notice that SHE was calibrating properly.)

And of course, even if she did mean it, it really doesn't matter much one way or another, as far as what the INTELLIGENT response should be, right?

So I did what I FELT like doing, based on my state of mind AND my understanding of the situation-I thought it was FUNNY, so I LAUGHED.  It was the perfect response, and it allowed us both to laugh and move AHEAD, as neither one of us had TV in mind.

And we never ended up watching TV that night ;)

As you can see, I know what I'm talking about, and it's also why I love CUSTOMIZING my training for each man, because each man is DIFFERENT. I can tell exactly what YOU need, which is different from what the NEXT guy needs. Whether it is SKYROCKETING your state of mind with women, or whether it is perfecting your CALIBRATION SKILLS with women, or whether it is any of DOZENS of other skills, such as creating spontaneous humor, or whether it is a combination of these things, I will get you the success you want with women by CUSTOMIZING your training so that it's perfect for YOU. 

I will assess your strengths and weakness and then create the PLAN for you, and then CARRY OUT THAT PLAN WITH YOU so that you QUICKLY see the success you want with women right before your eyes. My live coaching, including my bootcamps, are EXCLUSIVE. That means you get 100% of my time during bootcamp. The attention is not split between you and other students.  This allows you to get the skills you need to attract women FASTER than anything else on EARTH.

I seriously suggest you sign up for my bootcamp NOW at:

https://www.thedatingwizardreturns.com/bootcamp.html

And I also seriously suggest you download ALL my digital programs for skyrocketing your success with women. Each and every single one of these programs will BLOW YOUR MIND with VITAL strategies and knowledge for success with women that you won't find anywhere else.

These programs give you the KNOWLEDGE I have gained over 15 YEARS in the field of helping men attract amazing women, and these programs also allow you to make MORE out of your live coaching with me because you are not coming in to my live coaching then as a total beginner.     

Download these programs at:

https://www.thedatingwizardreturns.com/catalog.html

For a SKYPE or phone consultation with me, go here:

https://www.thedatingwizardreturns.com/consultations.html

I will ensure you DO attract the women you want, and if you are in a relationship, I can also help you solve any RELATIONSHIP issue you want FIXED.

Till next time,

Michael Marks