the role of PERSISTENCE when it comes
to attracting a woman.
We have all heard about how persistence
is such an important thing in life for
success, and this is true, but when it
comes to attracting a woman, most guys
get this all wrong.
***WHAT EFFECTIVE PERSISTENCE IS NOT***
Persistence does NOT mean to keep on
chasing some woman who shows no signs
In fact, so often, when guys get caught up on
ONE woman, this is very often the OPPOSITE
of persistence, because they completely avoid
ALL OTHER WOMEN ON THE PLANET!
They just pour all their energy into this ONE
woman who often is simply a woman that they
met through some convenient situation, like
somebody at work, or some woman who is
a clerk or waitress at their local store or
Not only is this not the right kind of
persistence, but it actually ends up
making a guy think that this one woman
is much more valuable and much more
of a necessity for his life than he thinks,
because the mind plays tricks on us like this.
Part of it is the reverse rationalization,
that says, "Well, if I put so much energy
into this one woman, it must be a sign
that she is "the one"" etc, etc.
Plus, the other "Jedi mind-trick" going on
is that anything we do a lot of, we tend
to think is the right thing, and we even
go so far as to COMPLETELY warp all
evidence to the contrary as somehow
still being evidence that, 'YES SHE IS
THE SPECIAL ONE!'
Part of it is also the 'EASY' element,
because it's easier to just NOT go out
and approach other women, and instead
just fantasize about how cool it would
be to get this woman that works at the
local store/restaurant/school etc, etc,
The irony about all this, is that when
a guy DOES persist in the RIGHT way,
with other women, he often suddenly
hears from the "special" one, and
of course at that point he now
realizes he actually has no idea
if she's 'special' or not because
it was all his own neediness that
was distorting her into something
that doesn't even exist.
And, since he now has far more self-esteem,
he isn't particularly attracted to a woman
that didn't appreciate him then.
So, NOW, at that point, he is ready to truly
appreciate what a REAL 'great girl' is.
So let's get to it- what effective persistence really is.
***WHAT EFFECTIVE PERSISTENCE IS, PART ONE***
So let me get to what is the GOOD kind of persistence:
This is when you approach a woman, and she
is NOT suddenly showing you smiles and she
is not seeming so warm to you.
I'm not talking about her being RUDE.
There's no excuse for being NASTY.
I'm just saying if she is not really "into" your
approach in the first few moments.
THIS is where you must be PERSISTENT.
I have seen MANY of these kinds of situations
turn into wonderful relationships in real life, not
just in bootcamps, but also in my actual experiences
dating and approaching women.
A woman is not always going to JUMP UP
IN HAPPINESS at the first moment of your
approach, especially if this is not in a club
or some other party atmosphere.
So what will happen is a guy will say something
to her, she will say something back, but not much,
and the guy will instinctively have this, "GET OUT
WHILE YOU STILL CAN BEFORE SHE GETS
PISSED OFF!" feeling internally.
Or, a guy might feel that awkward feeling of:
"THIS ISN'T NORMAL, GUYS DON'T APPROACH
TOTAL STRANGERS, ONLY WEIRDOS DO THIS,
SHE MUST THINK I AM A WEIRDO!"
Well, HERE is where I say, "PERSIST!"
DO NOT EJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are so many, many reasons why a woman
might not be showing unbridled enthusiasm.
She might simply be showing caution, she
has no clue who you are yet. So she needs
more time to "feel you out" and see what
kind of vibes you are giving off.
She might simply be feeling a need to
show she is not easy, because after all,
would YOU want a woman who IS easy?
Would YOU want a woman who gives her number
out to EVERY guy that approaches her?
Plus, it's also possible that your conversation
opener wasn't so great, and didn't get her
particularly intrigued or laughing or relaxed
in some other way, but that does NOT mean
this interaction is OVER, it does NOT MEAN
that you can't turn this into something
ALSO, I want to point out here a reminder that
persistence ALSO includes BEYOND the initial
first approach, which is something I teach the
"how to" of in detail in my programs and even
included a YouTube video on:
***WHAT EFFECTIVE PERSISTENCE IS, PART TWO***
Now, here's the next part about the KIND
of persistence you need in these situations.
You need to persist being in the right state
And I don't mean some kind of BATTLE state
of mind, where you are saying to yourself,
"I WILL PERSIST IN THIS FIGHT AND WIN!".
You want to persist in having that combo
of states of being upbeat, dominant, and
still chilled out, EVEN IF SHE IS NOT
DOING "happy cartwheels" in response
to your initial approach.
If you start to give up your good state,
if you start to allow yourself to fall
into a freaked out state, or an angry
state, or a lethargic state, guess what?
STATES OF MIND ARE CATCHY.
So she will ALSO start to become nervous
if you are nervous. If you seem pissed
off, she may become pissed off.
And the clincher to all this, is that
most guys typically go into the WORST
states of mind when they go to approach
a woman, AND the fact that the woman
is not giving them the full approval
right away is only feeding MORE
fuel for the guy's negative emotions,
and causes him to GIVE UP and give
IN to those negative emotions, which
just fuels HER negative emotions!
This is why you must really have a
HUGE RESERVE OF 'AWESOMENESS'
in your EMOTIONAL FUEL TANK when
you go UP to a woman to approach her.
That TANK has to last LONG ENOUGH to
WEATHER THE STORM until she MELTS!
And YES, so often, if you just PERSIST
for those few MINUTES, she will indeed
MELT and fall for you.
So THAT'S a great way to persist, because
those FIVE MINUTES of persistence can lead
to weeks, months, and YEARS of great times
as she becomes your girlfriend.
Compare the power of THAT persistence
to the ridiculous WEEKS, MONTHS, AND
SOMETIMES YEARS that a guy spends
"persisting" for ONE woman.
A woman does NOT think you are desperate
for persisting in that INITIAL approach,
if you do it RIGHT.
But a woman DOES think a guy is desperate
if he keeps on PERSISTING for the same
woman for years. And of course usually
when a guy is doing this "years of
persistence" strategy, he is also doing
all the WRONG things as well, like trying
to show her what a great guy he is by
doing favors for her, etc, etc.
***WHAT EFFECTIVE PERSISTENCE IS, PART THREE***
Here's ANOTHER point about persistence
in that initial interaction:
A woman often gets more turned ON when
she is hard to get, and the guy KNOWS how
to get around her hard to get tactics.
It’s like the mating dance has begun, and
she requires a certain sequence of events
Which is not to say that you are supposed
to be all predictable in everything you do,
but there is a DEFINITE pattern to the
mating ritual, for sure.
And for related reasons, it’s important that
YOU make the pattern happen, because
if SHE feels that SHE has to make it happen,
then you are ALREADY OUT OF THE
RUNNING BY DEFAULT, because YOU
KNOWING HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN
is part of what she has been conditioned to
believe is YOUR sexual role.
So although women very often ARE receptive
at the first moment of the approach, even
if they aren’t, it’s not time to pack
your bags and go.
You have to have persistence while at the
same time not conveying the slightest ounce
of neediness or 'cluelessness'.
You have to still maintain the playful vibe, because
in fact THIS IS ALL PART OF THE “DANCE”.
***WHAT EFFECTIVE PERSISTENCE IS, PART FOUR***
The other kind of persistence that is powerful
is the persistence in LEARNING these skills.
There's absolutely no question about it, persistence
in learning and practicing these skills WORKS.
This is one area where taking a live BOOTCAMP
with me is so powerful, because you will get
1-To-1 PERSONAL instruction in the absolute
most "hands-on" environment on real women,
again and again and again, we will persist
like MAD over the course of the bootcamp
until you GET these skills INGRAINED.
You're getting this instruction directly
from me, so you get the benefit of all
those years of experience which will
save YOU precious TIME.
And your 'persistence' will be used in
the most EFFICIENT manner, so that you
are not just spinning your wheels, but
actually IMPROVING all the time and
actually GETTING the women attracted.
Live training allows me to speed UP
your results, because I am right there
at all times making sure you to KEEP
you on track, and every time you start
to veer off course, I will make sure
you STOP doing that, until you develop
the INSTINCTS to do it RIGHT without
even THINKING about it.
Your "instincts" for approaching women
will be honed to excellence so that
you are READY, a trained "Jedi" for
all future situations where you see
women you'd like to meet.
To learn more about bootcamp, go here:
A lot of guys want to know if they need to study
my other programs before taking bootcamp.
The answer is that it's not REQUIRED.
I WILL teach you all you need to know to
get these skills under your belt. However,
the more you know coming into bootcamp,
the FARTHER I can take you, since you are
not coming in as a beginner.
To learn as much as you can before bootcamp,
Till next time,