Negative Versus Positive Emotions For Attracting Women

One of the greatest horror stories when it comes to the situation between men and women today is how so many of the very people who are supposed to be EXPERTS on attraction are actually SCREWING UP millions of men with their misguided advice. 

So, for example, if you're a man who has been looking for advice on attracting women, then unless you've been living on MARS for the past decade, you probably have heard of popular pick-up artist advice. 

Perhaps you've read the book The Game. And you probably have heard about strategies such as "negs" which are really thinly-veiled insults also known as back-handed compliments-and of course these things are not compliments at all-they are actually DESIGNED to make a woman feel INFERIOR, to make her feel LESS about herself.

Perhaps you've heard of strategies such as "freeze-outs", designed to make a woman feel punished (by ignoring her) for not getting sexual fast enough. 

Supposedly, this stuff "gets a woman off her pedestal".  

And make no mistake about it, this stuff has been ENTRENCHED into pick-up artist culture for MANY YEARS now, and if you doubt me, you are welcome and free to do the research yourself. 

Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like I think that all women are made from sugar and spice!

In fact, it was after going through YEARS of abuse by women that I WOKE UP to the LIES we were all fed by third-wave feminism and political correctness, and it was that nightmare experience that made me embark on a journey of learning and experience that led to my  creation also known as The Dating Wizard.

And the ANSWER to attracting women is not through NEGATIVE tactics.  The answer is through a combination of the following two things:

ONE:
Making yourself an INFINITE source of incredible emotions she experiences with you.

TWO:
Wisely SELECTING for a good woman who also hasn't been corrupted by third-wave feminism, political-correctness, and postmodernism. (It's all a product of postmodernism.)

And I have to repeat-if ANY GUY thinks that he will actually GET HIMSELF a girlfriend and KEEP her with those negative and famous pick-up artist tactics, he is ABSOLUTELY WRONG, and I want to prove it to you right now. 

So let me CUT THROUGH THE INSANITY right here: Do you know what the RATIO between GOOD experiences versus BAD experiences must be in order for a person to want to be with someone rather than break up with them?

It's TWENTY to ONE.

That's right: TWENTY to ONE.

This stuff has already been STUDIED in both happy couples and conflicted couples, and it's been PROVEN. (You can study the research by Dr. John Gottman if you want all the nitty-gritty details). 

That means that basically, the woman (and you) need to be having positive interactions with each other pretty much ALL THE TIME.

How GOOD do you think a woman is going to feel when she is "NEGGED"? When she is given "FREEZE-OUTS"? 

So you might be wondering-how do those tactics get SO MUCH praise from certain men in the seduction community if they don't work?

The ANSWER is fourfold: 

First of all, 99% of the men don't ACTUALLY take ANY real consistent action to attract women in their lives, so taking ANY action, even a MISGUIDED one, is liable to create SOME response in a woman, compared to ZERO. 

Secondly, when the guy uses this crazy negative stuff, and it is on a woman who is a total STRANGER, the woman still doesn't know if this is how he is ALWAYS FOR SURE GOING TO BEHAVE.  So she hasn't seen the PATTERN in the guy yet, and might actually let it SLIDE.  But that doesn't mean it's HELPING the guy!

Thirdly, the fact the guy THINKS this is a good tactic gives him some confidence, so again, his efforts are going to get SOME result compared to saying NOTHING to her, and this might boost his confidence, and then he might decide to actually STOP the insane tactics and go on to actually doing something less destructive to attract her!

The fourth factor is that a LOT of the women these guys are approaching who are actually RESPONDING AT ALL are women who are promiscuous OR who are drunk or tipsy or BOTH promiscuous AND drunk/tipsy, and so these women are really not having the same standards of behavior because they are NOT looking for anything significant and they are not in their right minds, and they are offering the guy a lot less-in fact they are offering zero loyalty, commitment, dedication, etc.

These TRUTHS are what most men NEVER learn. 

What you WANT in order to attract a woman and keep her attracted, is to be someone who she feels AMAZING around-in terms of her confidence, her sexual appeal, her sense of calm and optimism, her sense of fun and adventure, her sense of the inspirational, her feelings of connection to you, and all that awesome stuff!!!!

And there AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL that is happening with 99.99% of the pick-up artist stuff that is sold by the TON to MILLIONS of men everyday!

So what do MOST guys think is a GOOD ratio of positive to negative interactions with a woman, so that the woman WANTS to be with a guy and stay with a guy? 

Well, most guys think that if they are in a relationship, and they get into an argument with a woman, that the whole thing is OKAY if they then have a GOOD experience together with her. As if a bad experience is "erased" by a good experience.

But that thinking is WRONG.

"The ratio of positive interactions to negative in happy couples is 20 to 1, in conflicted couples is 5 to 1, and in soon-to-divorce couples is .8 to 1. Watching a couple interact when they are not in conflict is the best way to predict their risk for divorce."

So even five positive interactions to one negative interaction is not good enough! In fact, 5 to 1 is a sign of CONFLICTED couples! 

The overall balance has to lean OVERWHELMINGLY to the positively AWESOME side!

And it all makes sense, if you think about it. Human beings are not rational-they are EMOTIONAL.  People don't buy things, for example, just because they think they are going to get back an EQUAL value to what they are paying.

Businesses know this, which is why they aim to get people EMOTIONAL, and to make people FEEL like they are getting back WAY more in terms of VALUE than they are paying for. 

This is why so many companies create promotions such as "two for one" offers.

It's also why you see products that when you buy the large size come out to much cheaper, even if you don't NEED the product in large quantities---it's because people LOVE the feeling of getting WAY MORE than just "fair" or "equal to what I paid".  

Getting WAY MORE THAN THEY DESERVE is what REALLY MOTIVATES people.

It's human greed.

People don't get excited about FAIR.
They get excited about getting WAY MORE THAN IS FAIR.

A woman needs to feel she is getting WAY MORE AWESOME EMOTIONS from being with you than she feels she actually even "should" be getting according to her concept of what is "fair".

This is why any guy using negative tactics on women could NEVER, EVER, EVER use that stuff on a woman who is ready and looking for a REAL RELATIONSHIP, and they could NEVER use that stuff to KEEP a woman either.

In a long-term relationship, there has to be a LOPSIDED emphasis on keeping the ongoing interactions and experiences POSITIVE ones, ranging from how she feels on the telephone talking to you, to making love, to just hanging out.

This is why I have been saying FOREVER, but only a few have listened, that it is not about being a NICE guy or a JERK, but about being a man who is BADASS (which gives her the feeling of getting a real MAN) that actually ALSO shows he CARES about HER (that gives her the feeling of being LOVED) and that knows how to give her a massive range of awesome emotions (that gives her many feelings such as excitement/adrenaline, laughter, wonder, inspiration, connection, etc.). 

You want to inspire her, you want to make her feel feminine, you want to make love so that her world goes from black and white to COLOR, you want to be able to get her laughing, you want to be able to get her to feel super connected, you want to be, in a SYMBOLIC sense, her "CRACK COCAINE DEALER OF INSANELY AWESOME EMOTIONS" so she becomes ADDICTED to you, and keeps on coming back to you for MORE!

And sometimes, RARELY, there may very well be conflict! But if you navigate through the conflict PROPERLY, (which I also teach), you will both come back even STRONGER emotionally toward each other than before!  

I teach the POSITIVE way to attract a woman from the moment you FIRST see here anywhere, all the way to the RELATIONSHIP as well.

This video gets into it a bit more:


Do YOU want to get yourself a GREAT girlfriend?
Then let me make sure you succeed.

Download my follow up to my original The Dating Wizard book-it's called The Dating Wizard Returns, at:

https://www.thedatingwizardreturns.com/book.html

And sign up for a SKYPE coaching session with me where I can help you succeed with any and all aspects of attraction and relationships, by going HERE immediately: 

https://www.thedatingwizardreturns.com/consultations.html

Till next time,

Michael Marks