(And Why This Is SO Important)
When it comes to attracting women, especially women
who are total strangers, and ESPECIALLY when just
approaching them out of the blue, your STATE OF
MIND is of UTMOST importance.
That means being secure, feeling empowered, feeling
sensual, and feeling playful.
The REASON your state of mind is so important is
not just because being in a good state allows you to
then easily come up with the right kinds of things to
spontaneously SAY in the moment (instead of
using cheesy pick-up lines), but ALSO it is important
because a woman who does not know you will
NOT be judging you on the DETAILS of what
Instead, she will be judging you ENTIRELY on
your PRESENTATION. The WAY you sound,
the TONE of your voice, the EXPRESSION on
your face, the WAY you dressed, the CALM
you exude, etc.
Not only is it simply HUMAN for ALL HUMAN
beings to INSTINCTIVELY first judge others more on
PRESENTATION than on CONTENT, but women
are ESPECIALLY good at ALSO detecting your
Women, IN GENERAL, (there are always exceptions)
are MUCH better than men at detecting the emotional
STATE of someone else. Women tend to be better at
being in touch with emotions and the emotions of the
people around them.
EXACTLY what you are feeling in any given moment,
even if you are a STRANGER.
In fact, the very reality of the situation being that
in a pick-up type of situation, you ARE a stranger,
forces a woman to almost TOTALLY rely on her
skills at detecting your emotional state since she
really doesn’t know your history at all.
So what all this means is that a woman can sense
if you feel LACK of confidence and she can ALSO
sense if you feel TONS of confidence.
vibes from you and she ALSO starts to feel
more playful, more social, and more OPEN
to chatting with you, because states of mind
And she can TELL what state of mind you are IN.
If you are in a NEGATIVE STATE, if you feel
TENSE, if you feel ANXIOUS, she will start to
feel the SAME WAY.
So this makes it clear that indeed you MUST
be in the right emotional state.
And the best way to get INTO that state is to
first decide on your GOAL in terms of what you
want to DO and FEEL.
The NEXT step after that is to take CONSISTENT
BABY STEPS TOWARD that goal.
So if you decide you want to feel more CONFIDENT
and PLAYFUL, that DECISION is in itself IMPORTANT.
It is important because your brain is EXTREMELY
adaptable. It just needs to know which DIRECTION
to go, it needs to know what the DESTINATION is.
I am not making this up. This is all documented in
Norman Doidge’s The Brain that Changes Itself.
Doidge documents MIND-BLOWING evidence
of how the brain actually CHANGES PHYSICALLY
while it learns things. Using this new understanding
of the brain has enabled some blind people to recognize
letters, throw a basketball into a garbage can, and see
candle flames for the first time in their lives.
And to paraphrase Martin L. Rossman, M.D.: "If the brain
can change so that blind people can SEE, then certainly
the brain can change so that emotions like anxiety
can be turned into calm."
By the way, if you’re not approaching women
due to "approach anxiety", I SERIOUSLY suggest
you IMMEDIATELY download my 1-hour audio
program called “Obliterating Approach Anxiety” at:
Click Here To Download "Obliterating Approach Anxiety"
TWO: The NEXT step is VISUALIZATION.
It is important for you to VISUALIZE exactly
what it is you WANT to feel.
Picture ALL THE DETAILS of what you want
to be feeling, and of all the other sensory data
that might be associated with that feeling.
So, for example, if you want to feel calm and empowered
when approaching women, picture a SPECIFIC time in
your life when you WERE feeling that combination of
calm and empowered. Bring back all the details of the
event, the way you felt from the way your heart was beating
to the feeling on your skin, to any important sounds such as
music, a breeze, or any other detail.
For example, if it was during a birthday party as a kid,
perhaps you remember the look of the cake, and you
remember your OWN expression when looking at
the cake, maybe you remember the smell of the
sugar or the icing or the chocolate, the taste of the
cake, the sound of the music, singing, kids shouting,
the weather at that moment.
CLOSE your eyes when you do this so you can
focus on the memory and the feeling.
The brain IS UNBELIEVABLY responsive to this
kind of experience. If you were to have a readout
of all the things happening in your brain when you
do this visualization, you would find that your brain
was in many ways reacting as if all this were REALLY
And the MORE you PRACTICE, the MORE your brain
CHANGES and the BETTER you get.
THREE: ADOPT THE PHYSIOLOGY OF THE STATE YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE
You must also actually TAKE ON the actual POSTURE and body language that comes WITH the emotional state you want to experience. If you want to feel empowered, then take up SPACE with your body. Raise your hands in a VICTORY gesture, as if you just won the race and just broke through the tape at the finish line!
Notice how the OPPOSITE is true, as well. If you scrunch your body up tight and tighten your shoulders and take on the feared facial expression, you will actually start to FEEL fear and less value.
Your BRAIN RESPONDS to these things in a very REAL way. It's almost as if your brain does not know the difference between the IMAGINATION and reality.
If you focus on experiencing the calm of the perfect vacation in your MIND, then for all intents and purposes your BRAIN responds in a healthy way as if you actually are in that perfect calm place for real.
Think of all the associated body language and PHYSIOLOGY of a certain emotional state that you want to be in, and then adopt those aspects of physiology as much as possible. You will start to FEEL those emotions in just a matter of MINUTES.
Emotions FOLLOW the actual physical actions just as much as physical actions follow emotions. Just like you might jump up and down after you feel VICTORY, so too you will feel VICTORY after jumping and down in the same "victory" style manner.
Of course, in my BOOTCAMP, I train you to get the
ULTIMATE practice, which is why men improve
And now, I would like to move on to another
IMPORTANT point based on SCIENTIFIC
FOUR: THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT LOOKS
At one time, the idea that a man’s looks are not
as powerful of an attractor to women as women’s
looks are for men, I had a hard time believing this.
I had been to high school. I would SEE how some of
the model-looking dudes DID seem to so easily swoop
up the girls who were attractive. But at the same time, I would
also see how there were also attractive girls who dated guys
of EVERY TYPE.
So let me bring this whole discussion about looks to a
conclusion, through an article that got my attention by
Douglas T. Kenrick, Ph.D.
A scientific study made in 2010 reveals the TRUTH about
women and men when it comes to looks:
When MEN look at pictures of attractive women, the men
REMEMBER details of the pictures LONG AFTER
tend to NOT remember the details of the photos after
That means that although obviously women are not
BLIND, a man with above-average looks simply does
not IMPACT women with the same emotional force
that an attractive woman has on MEN.
So this is yet another reason to STOP thinking that
some woman is “out of your league” just because
you think she is so gorgeous and you think that you are
average in the looks department.
There could be all sorts of evolutionary reasons for
why a man’s looks are not the paramount force in
determining a woman’s attraction to a man, including
the possibility that a woman can’t afford to make
the decision on who will be the father of her child
based on just one factor alone, but rather she must
know what ELSE this man has that may be positive
traits he can give her child.
The bottom line is that if a guy has great looks, that
is good for him, but it is NOT even CLOSE to being
the MAIN part of what it takes to attract women.
This leads me to point number three, which is:
FIVE: WHAT COUNTS IS STRENGTH OF CHARACTER
(And an example of what this means.)
Women are attracted to men who are RESILIENT, who are
COURAGEOUS, who are DARING, who have SOCIAL
SKILLS, and who are EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT.
Being intelligent in general helps too.
This is why it does not matter much what a woman thinks
of you BEFORE you interact with her.
What matters is what she feels AFTER you interact with her.
This is also why if you can just GET that first date,
you are almost CERTAIN to get her, if you do things
So, let us just say for example, that a woman you meet
for just a couple of minutes gives you her number.
The chat was so brief that you didn’t really get a
chance to interact with her. Then, when you call
her, you notice she seems lukewarm to the whole
idea of meeting up with you.
This is common for intermediate guys who are
Getting good at getting numbers, but the numbers
aren’t turning into dates, girlfriends, getting physical,
Most guys end up doing various versions of
making REQUESTS of the woman, all of
which make it seem like she is doing a
favor if she meets up.
Instead of that, you should take a totally DIFFERENT
path, the path you would take if you were totally
So, for example, if you KNEW that you were
the best thing on Earth for a woman, that you
would give her more pleasure than any other
man on Earth, instead of asking her to give you
a chance, you might say something like this:
“Listen, I already know I am probably going to
knock your socks off, but the thing is that I personally
hate the idea of forcing anyone to do anything.
I don’t want you to spend one drop of time with
me unless it is the absolute BEST experience of
your life, as I personally believe the only relationships
that work are the ones where both people feel LUCKY
to be with each other.
So you have to feel damn LUCKY to be with me,
or it is a waste of MY time, to be honest.
Now, at the same time, I need to feel pretty damn
LUCKY myself, so that’s where this thing called
meeting up comes in. I feel your vibe, you feel
mine, and we take it from there, know what I mean?”
Take THAT kind of approach and you are going to
do a MILLION times better, because it is massively
clear that this is not a request for a favor, but merely
a chance for EVERYONE to not lose OUT on an
Again, remember that women are not like men,
the decision to sleep with a guy is based on your
Notice I didn’t say it is based just on you being
a NICE person.
It is based on STRENGTH of personality.
And if you are reading this right now and would
like to ensure YOUR success with the women of
YOUR choice, I seriously suggest you IMMEDIATELY
download my most POWERFUL book ever on
how to attract an amazing woman.
To learn how to attract women in PERSON, live,
sign up for my BOOTCAMP program, at:
To answer any questions you have, take a CONSULTATION
with me at:
I WISH when I was starting out, that someone had made
such a TREASURE of resources available TOGETHER at
such a fantastic price.
Till next time,